I am professional and
mercenary (they elide);
dispassionate, sceptical and callous,
a changeling chameleon man.
Always full of good intentions,
an honest kind of guy (don’t stress me),
doing good, as self-defined,
(but why take the hardest road?)
A limited, narrow, demon,
armed with magnetic power:
it’s effective over time,
but only at close range.
They were both beautiful, devoted,
with insecurities which meant
they were corruptible by me,
by caring, to deceive their hearts.
A generation apart, twenty four
and young at heart:
a tender Catholic virgin,
a fragile Muslim whore,
Tempting both, persuading,
promising intimacy and love,
intimate desire and pleasure,
siren voicing understanding,
Leading them from purity,
to actualise, realise, enjoy,
to live, and share humanity,
to prosper in security;
Abandoning God’s grace
for common, shared conditions,
no matter what the cost
for their eternal life;
I gave them all my days:
hope and breath and sweat,
all hollow, temporal, ephemeral;
and in the balance, incomplete….
So tell me straight (you laugh):
how did I serve them?
Transform desire to love and life;
or steal away their souls?
Or were they already damned
unknowing, waiting for
a catalyst, an agency,
to express their inner selves?
And is it at last more shocking:
to have feasted on their virtue;
to love two separate people;
or to resort to ethics now?