the toll of the bell

“…. never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”
(John Donne)

oh my dear child!
what have you done?
what have I done?
what can we do?

doomed – to tear you
doomed – to be torn
doomed – to be grim
doomed – to deny
doomed – to regret
doomed – to mistake
doomed – to false note
doomed – to strike out
doomed – to go sour
doomed – to grow old
doomed – to be dust;
doomed – at last, to fail.

what is support?
what is neglect?
who are human?
imagine thirteen?!

We progress

Lying warm and close in darkness,
Huddled safe against outsiders,
4:28am, a small voice waking said,
“Your feelings are not important!”

And I was cowering, hiding
In a corner, seeking shelter,
With no direction home and
Wishing I would die;

That raised a reef for us,
On which I hurt you,
On which we wrecked us, mirroring
That inverted siren’s call;

Providing rocket fuel for anger
Bitten back too long,
A spark, igniting, as providing
Was taken and ignored.

4:30 now. We progress.


Ghosts of constructs of you people –
of those I know, or thought I knew,
who’d infiltrated my defences;

Lurk on edge, a margin in my mind,
deceiving peace, stealing relaxation
and withholding rest from me;

Actors, strange attractors,
patrolling, trolling, calling,
latching hooks that drain my strength
and cripple my resilience,
to draw me in to inhumanity.