That which was once found unsavoury, is now found bittersweet,
The things which seemed unseemly, now seem to be a treat.
A part of me that once was white has now turned to vivid red —-
I stand over you, naked and bound on the bed;
Vulnerabilities exposed; open flanks, defenceless core.
– Should I push it further? If not now, then when?
And on what grounds, and for what ends?
Consent given freely, eagerly – but to swallow it whole??
Or not yet as far as you would have me go!
I enjoy it so much, and want it still more;
– But have I always tried myself as much as I would others?
As I loose my bonds of self, applying ties,
And begin to see, a little, how it may feel to be you,
I must sometime offer to submit in turn.
– There is too a will and obligation
To protect, ensure you’re safe from harm,
Which you may both welcome and resent.
– Consent, desire; command, submit; affection, understanding, caring;
Many layered roles without acting at all.
But while the central pivot’s straight –
Respect, unbroken; Trust, undamaged –
Nothing will end up skew.
– Is it doubt, or confidence: to act,
With open minds, unplanned and driven on;
Surprise and tease you, give and take, impose and share,
Slippery steps to mutual, sticky ecstasy;
And then reflect and question what
I did, and why, and what it means in human terms?
– Does it make us more, or less, sensing
Your pliant desires, to dominate and treat you so?
A paradox: apparent degradation, but enhanced
Humanity in our experience – if not redemption yet!
– Restrained, still, in applying restraints,
But for how long? And on what terms?
As reflexes adapt, I know,
Only too well, that before long
I will learn the skills of control,
Surpassing expectations on the way.